I know...it can be a dangerous exercise. Today I read the first chapter of Acts, and it's a hard one. It brings up most of the questions I have about God's sovereignty. Where I am at in short...still somewhat muddled but sure of this-God is good, He is in control of all things, and I am not. I prayed/journalized the following this morning and went out on a limb posting it...I hope it is encouraging.
God, I pray that I never blaspheme your name by mentally giving control of anything to another power other than You, the I am. (Palms 103:19)
God, I pray that I never blaspheme your name by insinuating that you have caused a heart to sin (James 1:13)
God, you know me, every single cell and atom of me. You know every force that wants to destroy me and all things good. You know the times, the seasons, the wind the rain. You know intimately every piece of fiber in this world and by showing your glory in the mist of it all, you draw all men to yourself. The fact that you know me, know my days, know my inclinations perfectly under perfectly known circumstances is not cause for confusion-but for peace. I give You all praise for Your mighty grace, which channels light into the world illuminating a path for all to see no matter how straight and narrow it may be-and to take all glory for it so we don't destroy ourselves in making our own imitations of You. I pray that You, the shepherd, lead me not into temptation but will deliver me from evil-and in this request acknowledge that You God are not the tempter yourself, use temptation only as a trying refining purpose, and will deliver me in your own time, even if I must wait on the new kingdom to be totally free. I believe I will see Your face very soon, and then I will truly understand with no dark glass in-between.