Friday, December 16, 2011

The Seven steps

I find these 7 steps of grieving very insightful, not only if you ever go through a life changing painful time  but also if you know someone who is-

- shock, denial
- pain, guilt
-anger, bargaining
- depression, reflection, loneliness
- upward turn
- reconstruction and working through
- acceptance, hope

I think maybe an individual flies through the steps in random mixed order right after something happens and then slowly works through them again in better order once you get through the shock phase.  I didn't grieve my dad's illness very long because of the positive outcome-I still find them very helpful to keep in mind for supporting others and understanding one's own emotions a little better.

I know I'm out of the emotional cloud I've been floating around in because:

-I'm mad about little things again...like a melted green crayon in the dryer...with my new jeans

-I don't feel bad for laughing

-I'm breathing-really breathing

-I want to go places again and see people

-I'm noticing that the house needs cleaned...hmmm

-I'm drinking less tea and coffee...not that it's a bad thing to drink them ;)

-I'm not tearing up every time I hear a song on the radio


One other thing to mention, someone asked me at church how I was doing (more than a week ago before the good news)-my eyes started misting over-I'm not a "show your emotions in public" kind of girl so I just kind of turned away a little and did something else stating "I'm fine if I don't talk about it."  I've kind of felt bad ever since but it's not a big enough deal to fix it or say sorry to the person.  At least I can explain it here so I don't forget what I learned from it.  First, if you reach out to someone and they kind of turn the other way verbally or actually turn around like I did, don't feel bad.  I think I felt the most emotion when I knew people really cared about our family-so the person probably feels your concern but just isn't able to talk at the moment.  Don't take offense to pretty much anything a hurting person says...they didn't mean it that way-I'm 99% sure.

I'm off to check the status of the dryer...which is full of old green clothes to make sure the crayon fiasco is really over...I'm not sure the guy who wrote "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" ever cleaned crayon out from under his nails after cleaning out a dryer drum...;)

Andria

1 comment:

Dmasy said...

What a wonderful day with you and your family yesterday. The boys are growing up so beautifully and delightfully. Ed shared your recorded song with Denny and I -- totally amazing.

Hope to see you again sometime soon. All our love ...