Wednesday, May 18, 2011

awkward...

Don't say I didn't warn you with the title...=)

On the way home from our ventures in IL, we had to stop for an inevitable "potty" break.  It has been a tradition in our group order, that I take all the little boys to the ladies room with me.  This serves two purposes, the ladies room is cleaner (so Luke says) and we are spared any drama of them being in the public bathrooms alone if I'm solo without Luke with me.  Apparently, it also provides a perfect platform for awkward conversations about the facts of life since the walls are lined with dispensers of all kinds of novelties.  The perfume isn't too hard to expound on, but Noah dropped the atomic question and asked about the contraceptives this trip.  Since he had a head start reading the info listed on the dispenser and who knows what kind of graffiti written as well... ignoring the question with a light answer didn't seem like an option.  I tried to keep it simple "that helps a person not have a baby."  I hoped that would sum it up nicely since I was a little busy trying to keep Jude from touching anything.  Kids can sniff out a taboo topic like no one else.  Noah kept probing.  "Oh, what do they taste like?"  I imagine he was thinking of his grape Tylenol at home...I should have just said "cherry" and been done with the whole thing.  I continued on as best I could "there are pills you can take that do the same thing but they don't taste like anything.  I don't know that much about those, I've never taken them."  Jude, who had been totally uninvolved with the conversation and seemed unaware, looked up with his little three year old face beaming- and I quote "because you want a baby every time, right mom?"  Hmmmmmm...."I do love my babies Jude."  Noah wasn't finished.  "So, you just rub this stuff on your skin?"  I finally had to resort to what I usually tell them during these question answer sessions "I can only explain it so far because other mom's do the same thing and it's not appropriate for kids to talk about some things."  Noah gave me a look that I'm sure I'll see often when he's 16 "I'm not going to talk to my friends about it mom."  So while my child may not say an inappropriate term to yours next time they meet...he may be the child that is forever unsure if there's a lotion that wards off having a baby.  Great.

Andria

7 comments:

Aubrey said...

Wait - you take ALL FIVE of your boys to the bathroom at once? I thought three was hard!!
And, thanks for the laugh. I can so sympathize with you! If there were any other women in there that got to hear this hilarious exchange, I'm sure they sympathized too!!

emilykate said...

:) I'm sure one day Noah will hear this story and laugh.

L, An and boys said...

Well, this day in particular I was spared the two younger ones because Luke had them in the car-but I've done all five with the aid of a stroller. ;)

Sarah said...

oh wow, this is GREAT! Haha!!! Thanks for sharing!

Mindy said...

Too funny Ann!

smw said...

that is hysterical. :)

Kenj said...

Oh my goodness, An, I'm crying b/c I was laughing so hard after reading this!! I have not come to this point yet as I just have a one year old. Oh, this is just so funny!! You are such a great Mom, and I really enjoy reading your posts. Love you much, Kristen Hodel (Regier)