So you've heard about Butt Paste for diaper rash...but did you know that you can rub the stuff all over your face up to an inch or two thick and suffer no ill affects. It's true! Simply get up when you're supposed to be napping and dig around in drawers until you find the paste, remove cap and commence smearing the stuff all over your little face until you look like mommy with a facial mask on. It's baby (or two year old toddler) care at it's best. The non-toxic benefits and gentle scent leave your face feeling soft and supple once mommy has removed it with bathroom tissue and you'll get to stay up for...oh...at least five minutes before having to get back in bed. It's brilliant. I would do it everyday if mommy had not removed it from my room. I guess I'll have to come up with another kind of distraction to keep myself awake. It's just so hard to keep my eyes open sometimes...what a job I have. I hope mommy doesn't find all those furniture tacks out on the porch when she goes to fetch my blue blanket...then she will really be mad.